Passion Unleashed:

Solopreneurship!

# 12: Overcoming Obstacles

The Fear Factor That Holds You Back

Published Date 

20 January 2024

Author

Michelle Knight,
The Life Passion Coach

Category 

Solopreneur Lifestyle

Today, I’ll be talking about overcoming obstacles by addressing the elephant in the room – fear. All your obstacles can be boiled down to fear and it is the biggest thing holding you back from your dreams and goals. I’d like to go over the six common fears that can hold you back, if you let them. To find out more, you’ll have to read on…

Bonjour mes amis et bienvenue! I am The Life Passion Coach, Michelle Knight, I’m a digital nomad, a passport stamp collector and an avid reader and motorcyclist. Today, I’ll be talking about overcoming obstacles by addressing the elephant in the room – fear. All your obstacles can be boiled down to fear and it is the biggest thing holding you back from your dreams and goals. I’d like to go over the six common fears that can hold you back, if you let them.

Do you ever feel like the rhythm of your daily routine has become a monotonous melody, leaving you unsatisfied, frustrated, and, if you’re honest with yourself, downright unhappy? If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. Many people, especially in midlife, find themselves in this exact position—working tirelessly for someone else, only to reach a point where they realize that something has to change. Yet the path ahead can feel uncertain, overwhelming, and riddled with fear.

At the core of why you aren’t taking the necessary steps to live your dream life, there are three key obstacles:

  1. Fear
  2. The story you’re telling yourself
  3. A lack of clear purpose or “why”
Overcoming Obstacles - Escape the fear holding you back

Today, let’s focus on fear—what it is, why it exists, and how it holds you back from stepping into the life you truly want. Chances are, you have a goal or dream in mind. You say you want it, but before you even get started, you’ve already convinced yourself that you can’t. Maybe you’re afraid of failing, of not being good enough, or of what others might think. But here’s the truth: what you’re really afraid of is a future that hasn’t happened yet. And because of that fear, you stay where it feels safe—you do nothing. You take yourself out of the race before it even begins.

But once you understand that these fears aren’t real threats, you can take your first courageous steps outside your comfort zone. That’s where true growth and transformation happen.

Why Fear Exists

Fear is a natural defense mechanism rooted in the brain’s amygdala, the part responsible for processing fear. Millions of years ago, this instinct kept our ancestors alive, warning them to avoid dangers like predators or unsafe situations. Fast forward to today, and while our environment has changed dramatically, the amygdala hasn’t. Its primary job is still to protect us, often by conjuring fears about future scenarios—even when no real threat exists.

When there’s no immediate danger to occupy it, the amygdala creates fears out of thin air. It’s just doing its job. But instead of safeguarding us, it often holds us back from pursuing what we truly want and living the lives we’re meant to live. Once we become aware of this, we can begin to challenge and overcome those fears.

Not all fears are created equal. Some are essential for survival, while others are entirely learned.

 As humans, we are born with only two primal fears:

  1. The fear of falling
  2. The fear of loud noises

These innate fears are universal, warning us of potential danger and ensuring our survival. However, for most of us today, these primal fears are rarely triggered. We live in environments where basic needs like food, shelter, and safety are generally met, and the threat of death isn’t lurking around every corner.

Every other fear we experience is learned. These intellectual fears arise from our environment and are shaped by our upbringing, experiences, and societal influences. For example, if your parents were afraid of being judged, you’re likely to inherit that fear as well. Unlike primal fears, intellectual fears aren’t tied to physical pain or death, but our amygdala doesn’t know the difference. It reacts to these learned fears—like failure, rejection, or judgment—as if they were life-threatening.

The Six Most Common Fears

I’ve talked about fear with a lot of different people, not just my own coaching clients, but also with some of my fellow coaches and with my own mentors too. I’ve found that these are the six fears that most often hold people back:

  1. Fear of failure
  2. Fear of rejection
  3. Fear of change
  4. Fear of something bad happening
  5. Fear of being seen as a fraud
  6. Fear of abandonment

1. Fear of Failure

The fear of failure often manifests as thoughts like, “What if I can’t do it?” or “What if I make the wrong choice?” These doubts can feel paralyzing, but here’s the truth: failure isn’t the end. It’s a stepping stone on the path to success. Every setback holds valuable lessons that propel you forward. The most successful people in the world have faced failures—it’s how they respond that defines their journey.

2. Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is closely tied to the fear of judgment. “What will people think?” “Will they support my decisions?” It’s easy to let these questions hold you back. But this is your journey, and other people’s opinions shouldn’t dictate your choices. Not everyone will understand your path, and that’s okay. Whatever you do, people will judge—so why not be judged as the best, boldest version of yourself, living a life of passion and purpose?

3. Fear of Change

Change often feels like stepping into the unknown, and that can be terrifying. Even if your current situation isn’t fulfilling, it’s familiar. As the saying goes, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” But growth requires stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable, yes, but discomfort is a sign that you’re pushing boundaries and challenging yourself.

4. Fear of Something Bad Happening

Anticipatory anxiety—fear of what might go wrong—is common when facing big decisions or changes. This fear often focuses on things outside of your control, leading to feelings of dread. Techniques like daily journaling, meditation, and deep breathing can help calm your mind and ease this anxiety.

5. Fear of Being Seen as a Fraud

Many people struggle with the fear of inadequacy, feeling like they’re not good enough or that they don’t measure up. This fear can lead to perfectionism or avoidance, keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. The truth is, you are worthy of success, and embracing that belief is the first step to achieving it.

6. Fear of Abandonment

The fear of being abandoned or being excluded can make us crave approval and hesitate to take risks. But true growth comes from embracing who you are and pursuing what matters to you, being true to yourself, even if it means walking a path that others don’t understand.

This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes by Sarah Ulmer, who is a New Zealand former competitive cyclist. She was the first New Zealander to win an Olympic cycling gold medal, which she won in the women’s 3km individual pursuit at the 2004 Athens Olympics, setting a world record. I have this quote from her posted on my office wall: 

“The company of greatness is earned alone; on a road of pain. 
It is an inner race, run a million times at just one speed… faster.
Give it all or give it up.
Want it most or be found wanting.
Everything hurts, but one thing hurts more… second.”

You can make this mean whatever you want it to mean, but to me, it means conquering the little voice inside my head that keeps telling me “I’m not good enough to do this or that”. Vanquishing my own fears. It means pushing through the pain of discomfort and reaching outside my comfort zone to grow and change. It means my “why”, my purpose, has to be super strong. I have to want it the most, to help me push through that pain of discomfort. To me, it means coming second would be letting my inner fears defeat me.

The Excuses Fear Creates

Fear of the unknown or the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, fear of failure, fear of something bad happening, fear of being judged, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy. It’s perfectly natural to feel these emotions when contemplating significant life changes. The challenge with changes, comes from our tendency to see them as problems rather than opportunities for learning and growth. Most people are afraid of changing their routines because they have either had a tough time adapting in the past or have witnessed the difficulties others have had. 

These six fears often manifest as excuses that hold you back from even trying:

  1. “I need clarity.”
    You think you need to know your exact purpose before taking action. It’s that feeling that there’s always something more you need to know, learn, think about, or plan for. In reality, clarity comes from action.
  2. “I need to be ready.”
    You believe you need more preparation, practice, or credentials before starting. The truth is, you’ll never feel 100% ready. The feeling of readiness you are waiting for, will never come. So if not now, then when? The right time is now!
  3. “I don’t have the time.”
    You convince yourself you’re too busy or overwhelmed. Or it could also be the thought that you don’t trust yourself to follow through with the responsibility of adding something else to your plate. But if something really matters to you, you’ll make the time.
  4. “I don’t have the money.”
    You fear committing resources to something uncertain. This is the belief that you can’t afford to get support, whether it be from a course, a coach, a mastermind, or some other avenue. You feel that it would be irresponsible. But what’s the greater risk—investing in your growth or staying stuck where you are?
  5. “My purpose is too small.”
    You downplay your dreams as insignificant. That while other people have huge, important purposes – that yours is not big enough to really take seriously. It’s the thought that you just aren’t that important. But your purpose matters, and letting yourself be seen allows others to support and uplift you.

The First Step Toward Courage

Fear is natural—it’s how your brain is wired to protect you. But not all fears are worth listening to. Fear may be natural, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding your fears and recognizing the excuses they create, you can move past them and take bold steps toward the life you deserve. Your dreams are waiting for you on the other side of fear. So will you take the first step?

Remember, mes amis, fear is not a stop sign; it’s a guidepost. It’s telling you that what you’re considering is important, meaningful, and worth pursuing. You cannot swim for new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. As President Franklin Roosevelt has said: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” It’s what we decide to do DESPITE our fear that defines us.

I would like to invite you to consider that maybe your happiness is more important than fear; maybe finding your passion or purpose is more important than fear; maybe answering your calling in life is more important than fear. Try on the thought that what you WANT is more important than fear. Have the courage to pursue your dreams, whatever they might be.

To overcome these obstacles, it is important to find mentors and role models who can give you guidance and support. It is also important to stay flexible and open to new ideas and opportunities.  Don’t miss out on this amazing opportunity. Take the first step and contact me now! I’m here to help you reach your goals.

I can provide emotional support by being a trusted confidant and offering guidance and encouragement throughout the transition and planning process. The process won’t always be easy, but it will be rewarding. We’ll work together to set achievable milestones and celebrate your progress, helping you stay positive and hopeful even during challenging times. 

Insecurities and fears are part of the human experience, and acknowledging them is the first step towards overcoming them. As your Life Passion Coach, I encourage you to reframe these fears as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Remember, the passion that you seek is often found on the other side of fear. Change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end. It is important to consider what you are giving up for your fear.

6 common fears infographic

I’m still giving away my two Freedom Pursuit Checklists – either the “Nomad Nirvana: Your Starter Checklist to Freelance Freedom” or the “Side Hustle Serenity: Your Checklist to a Profit Partners Passion”. I’m giving these away to you, completely free – all you have to do is fill out a basic form so I can email you the checklist you have chosen.

I have developed these checklists to get you started on your journey and give you some actions that you can take to get the ball rolling. The idea is to lay a strong foundation that will enable you to move forward and make meaningful progress. These lists will provide a basic roadmap that will help you identify and prioritise the steps you need to take to reach your destination. 

If you are interested in the details of the Freedom Pursuit Checklists, just go to my website and click on the button to fill out the form and receive the checklist you chose. Just remember, big change requires big support, and I’m here to help you through the transition from the rat race you’re running now to the passionate, fulfilled life you want for yourself.

Thank you for reading this BLOG post of the “Freedom Unleashed: Solopreneurship” Broadcast.  Believe in yourself and trust the process. Always look for new opportunities and be open to change. Enjoy the journey and make the most of it. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Take the first step, embrace the journey, and rediscover the excitement and purpose that life has to offer. Until next time, stay passionate.

I will leave you with my final thoughts:
BDK – Be Brave, Be Different and Be Kind. Remember: Laughter is the answer to everything.
Je vous remercie et je vous souhaite une bonne journée.

 
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